“People aren’t looking for information, they can get that from AI, they’re looking for connection, so just be authentic, just be you.” I’ve heard variations on this idea at least 50 times over the past week as I scrolled different places on the internet. And it’s a thought that I couldn’t let go. It bothered me and I couldn’t put my finger on why. Because I really do believe that being human, being honest, and being your “real” self is important, not just on the internet, but in life in general. I sincerely believe that if we were all a little more transparent, open, and honest (but still kind) with each other we could solve a lot of problems. 

Am I actually being authentic?

Then it finally landed for me. The idea of just be “authentic” presumes that authenticity is something that you just have, that it’s something that you then perform for others. And this bothered me in particular because authenticity has never felt like something I had and then showed other people. It was something that I needed to discover and develop. 

Between therapy, somatics, yoga, journaling, meditation, and even the more “woo” things like tarot, I’ve spent more than half of my life trying to do the inner work. But I’ve also changed a lot over the years with that inner work. And at each point in my life I acted in a way that felt like it was “authentically” me, but then when I look back at that years later, I can’t help but think “oh, that doesn’t feel authentic to who I am now.” I can see the armour that I hadn’t put down at the time or the things that I didn’t really understand about myself or the world in the things I wrote over a decade ago. 

So, what does authenticity even mean?

Because if I created something that felt authentic when I created it, but it doesn’t feel authentic now, what does that actually mean? Was I presenting “false authenticity”? Was I trying to fool other people (and even myself) into thinking that I was an open and authentic person?Or does authenticity mean something different? Can we look at authenticity as an ever-evolving process or actions we take rather than it being a fixed state of being?

Before really getting into the idea of authenticity itself and answering those questions. I think I need to acknowledge the role of core values. Most of the academic literature I’ve read over the years suggests that core values are pretty fixed by the time someone reaches adulthood. For me that rings true. For as long as I can remember, I’ve thought that integrity, curiosity, and compassion (or variations of these words) are the core things that make me, who I am. I try to live my life in a way that all of my actions align with those three values. 

How what’s authentically me over time changed

But at different points in my life I have also valued different things outside of my core values. When I was thinking about having kids I really valued the idea of stability, having a stable job with an external structure and a fixed income. But that’s not a core value, that’s something I valued at a specific point in my life. Now that I have kids and I’m aware of how much they observe things and absorb my feelings, the structured stability I wanted earlier in life wasn’t worth the trade off to who I was. Now, I’m more focused on showing my kids what can happen if you follow your dreams to build something you believe in. And I’m a much happier person doing that than I was when I was focused solely on financial stability with a stable employer.

Does that mean what I wanted before kids wasn’t authentic? Or what I want to teach them now isn’t authentic? Is one version of me more authentic than the other?Absolutely not. What I think it means is that circumstances can change, people can change, and for me I learned more about myself and what I want my life to look like and that shifted some of the things I value. 

Now, those core values are still there. All the decisions I make are still run through the questions of if they feel like they adhere the values of integrity, curiosity, and compassion, but the way those values interact with the context of my life and who I am can look different over time. 

Authenticity as a process not a product

Authenticity isn’t something that you just decide what it looks like once and then never deviate from that idea. It’s a process, it’s the choices you make every single day, and sometimes it means that something you did years ago from a place that felt authentically yours at the time, no longer feels authentic to who you are now. That doesn’t make your past or your present inherently less authentic, it means that you’re still growing and learning about yourself. If anything, refusing to change, learn, or grow, might just make things less authentic. 

At this point, your question might be “so, what?” Or even “who actually cares if authenticity is something we perform for others?”

The whole conversation about authenticity and connection being the things that lead to success in the age of AI feels like it’s being approached from the wrong direction. We’re trying to commodify authenticity as a product to be marketed, sold, purchased, and consumed, which would be the very thing that takes the “realness” out of being authentic. 

What are we actually selling?

Because if we decide that authenticity is something we have and perform for others rather than an inner awareness that can be developed over time, are we actually being authentic? Or are we selling a new product?

And here’s the turn that feels weird for me. I am acutely aware of how odd it is to write an entire post about authentic expression in the age of AI and how turning it into a product ruins the idea of authenticity in business. But, unfortunately, we live in late-stage capitalism and I’m running a business. So rather than try to sell you on the Threshold Clarity Session based on how human and “authentic” I am as a person, I’m not going to do that.

However, if you are working through a problem that needs a brain to see something that you can’t see right now and like this post, that’s how my brain works all the time. If that’s something you’re looking for, you might be interested in the Threshold Clarity Session. you can book one here.